I am a breast feeding Natzi

I am a breast feeding Natzi

Some facts:

• I have breast fed all three of my kids
• I love it
• Breast feeding IS the best thing for your baby.  (If you don't agree, I don't care. It means you have no idea what you are talking about.  Here's a link.  Do some research.)

Boobies were made for babies to eat from them.  Not for boys to gawk at.  They work well for gawking.  And I have used mine once or twice in the old days for less than classy ventures.  But their intended purpose is to store milk and distribute said milk to screaming baby faces.

  Recently I have read a couple of news stories where a nursing mother has been ridiculed or harassed in public while trying to feed her kid. Here's one. Here's another.
Some of these stories made it to the Facebook pages of my local news outlets, and the drama ensued.  I had NO IDEA there were really so many people out there who thought public breastfeeding was such a crime against humanity!  I got frustrated trying to voice my opinion there amongst all of the morons trying to out scream each other.  And frankly, I really only like to hear myself talk. Hence this blog.  So I'm going to give a few of the objections and then tell you why they are all complete bullshit.

 "Why don't you just do it in the bathroom?"

Oh!  Wow!  I should have thought of that!!  The bathroom!!  I have an even better idea.  Why don't you join us!  Pick up that burger you are shoving into your fat face, and you can eat your lunch sitting on a toilet seat used by thousands of strangers.  No?  You don't want to do that?  I'm sorry.  I thought you were saying it was a sanitary place for someone to eat.  I think I'll stay here where I am then.  But would you mind facing the other direction?  Watching you eat its making me want to puke.

Another classic line: "Peeing is natural too, but you don't see people urinating in public anywhere they feel like it"

Good point.  Well, it WOULD be a good point if instead of breastfeeding my baby, I was busting out both tits and spraying milk all over the jewelry counter at Kohl's.  But I'm not.  At least not yet.  I won't say I'm above this.  I would just need a good reason.

"Why can't you just put it in a bottle and then bring it with you"

Because it defeats the purpose of breastfeeding.  If you knew what the f*#@ you were talking about you would know that you lose milk this way.  SOOOO to make up for the breastfeeding I was missing by giving my kid a bottle instead, I would have to pump.  Which would you rather see me doing.  Discreetly feeding my baby under a blanket? Or hooking my nips up to a vacuum, flipping a switch, and instantly destroying your image of boobies forever. Ever see a cow get milked by a machine?  Imagine that, but with clear plastic cones doing the work instead of the modest metal tubes they use for Ol' Bessie.  It's not something you can un-see. 

"It doesn't matter if it's legal, it makes people uncomfortable, and you should be understanding of that."

You wanna know what makes me uncomfortable?  Really fat people.  Not like, normal fat people, but like "so fat I have to use this motorized scooter in the grocery store because for some reason I think having to WALK to the freezer section to get my pot pies is going to do me some harm" fat.    You know what else? Obviously fake boobs, and really loud teenagers make me uncomfortable.  But can I ask them to all get in the bathroom?  No.  I can't.  And mostly because after Pot-Pie and Tits McGee, no one else will fit.


Bottom line is this.  If you have a problem with me breastfeeding my kid, then you must also have a problem with every Vitoria's Secret ad, every catalog during swim suit season, every girl at every club you've ever been to, every trip to the beach.....I could go on, but I think you get the point.

Now unless any of you have any better points to make, my baby is hungry.  And I think today she feels like eating at Wal-Mart. 

That's it.
Becca

As I was writing this post, another article came to my attention. Apparently formula is KILLING BABIES!!! Are you serious??!! So here's the thing. The only reason to ever feed formula to your baby ever again is if you physically cannot breastfeed your baby. And I mean you take every herbal supplement, call every crazy witch doctor, and milk your boobs til they BLEED before you CHANCE that the formula you purchased at the store will kill your baby. God gave you titties for a reason.

Read More

Recipe Time! - Tequilla Pasta

Recipe Time! - Tequilla Pasta

Tequilla Pasta

(16 ounce) package fettuccine pasta

1/3 cup chopped fresh cilantro

2 tablespoons minced garlic

2 tablespoons minced jalapeno peppers

3 tablespoons butter

1/2 cup chicken stock

3 tablespoons tequila

2 tablespoons fresh lime juice

3 tablespoons soy sauce

1 1/4 pounds skinless, boneless chicken breast halves - cubed

1/4 red onion, sliced

1 red bell pepper, thinly sliced

1/2 yellow bell pepper, thinly sliced

1/2 green bell pepper, sliced

1 1/2 cups skim milk

 1/3 cup flour

Directions

1. In a medium saucepan, saute the cilantro, garlic and jalapeno pepper in 2 tablespoons of butter or margarine over medium heat for 4 to 5 minutes. Add the stock, tequila and lime juice. Bring the mixture to a boil and cook until reduced to a paste-like consistency. Set aside.
2. Pour soy sauce over the chicken and set aside for 5 minutes. Meanwhile, In a medium sized skillet, saute the onion and the red, green and yellow bell peppers with the remaining tablespoon of butter or margarine, stirring occasionally.
3. Meanwhile, cook fettuccini according to package directions.
4. When the peppers have wilted, add the chicken and soy sauce. Toss and add the reserved tequila/lime paste milk and flour. Bring to a boil. Gently simmer until chicken is cooked through and sauce is thick. Toss with well drained fettuccini and garnish with cilantro. Serve.

Read More

Recipe Time! - Glazed Pork

Recipe Time! - Glazed Pork

 

Brown sugar and balsamic glazed pork chops

 

Ingredients:

4 bone in porkchops

 

2 teaspoon ground sage

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon pepper

2 clove garlic, crushed

1 cup water

Glaze

1 cup brown sugar

2 tablespoon cornstarch

1/2 cup balsamic vinegar

1 cup water

4 tablespoons soy sauce

Directions:

Combine sage, salt, pepper and garlic. Rub over pork. Place in slow cooker with 1cup water. Cook on low for 5 hours. About 1 hour before roast is done, combine ingredients for glaze in small sauce pan. Heat and stir until mixture thickens. Brush roast with glaze 2 or 3 times during the last hour of cooking. Add remainder of glaze to liquid in the crock pot to use as sauce for pork.

Read More

Recipe Time! - Mexican Enchiladas

Recipe Time! - Mexican Enchiladas

Chicken enchilada lasagna with green chili sour cream sauce

 1 pkg thin soft tortillas

3 large chicken breasts cooked, shredded

2 cups shredded Monterrey Jack cheese

1 can enchilada sauce

3 Tbsp. butter

3 Tbsp. flour

2 cups chicken broth

1 cup sour cream

1 (4 oz) can diced green chillies

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 9x13 pan

  2. Mix Chicken and 1c. cheese

  3. In a sauce pan, melt butter, stir in flour and cook 1 minute. Add broth and whisk until smooth. Heat over medium heat until thick and bubbly. 

  4. Stir in sour cream and chilies. Do not bring to boil, you don't want curdled sour cream.

 5. Lay tortillas in pan to cover sides and bottom. 

 6. Add about 2 cups of chicken mixture.

 7. Drizzle enchilada sauce over chicken mixture

 8. Cover with another layer of tortillas

 9. Spoon white sauce over tortillas until they are all covered.

10. Repeat until you reach top of pan.  Finish with a chicken layer

11. Sprinkle cover with remaining cheese and white sauce

12. Bake 22 min and then under high broil for 3 min to brown the cheese.

Read More

Some DYI For Ya

Some DYI For Ya

We recently moved back in to our house (after we were supposed to relocate and then didn't have to).  We are trying to make it the house we WANT to live in instead of the house we HAVE to live in.  We have repainted every room, cleaned like mad people, and purged our lives of tons of unnecessary clutter. 

Next up is furnishing.  If you read my post about Craigslist (read it here) you will know I'm a ruthless hunter of a good deal.  I am also a psycho about not buying something if I can make/do it myself.  So here are a few of the things I have recently refinished/made look better. 

The color pallet for the finished basement/family room is all shades of greens and browns.  We have a big old desk we got for free from friends a few years ago and it was just too ugly for words. It looked like this but "L" shaped and beat to hell.

Here it is now...

It's a mess, but you get the point.  Its a funky avocado green and glossy chocolate brown top.  Here's what I used...

3 cans of Killz spray primer
Painters tape (to tape off the chrome parts.  I wanted to keep them silver)
Rust-Oleum High Proformance Protective Enamel in Dark Brown
Krylon Indoor Outdoor Spray Paint in Avocado
Smooth surface small roller (to roll the top)

That's it! It can be completely finished in 2 days.  The enamel paint take 24 hours before you can do a second coat.  I LOVE it now.

Second project:  my bedroom furniture is all hand me downs from various people.  All really good quality stuff.  All from no later than 1970.    My dresser was the first thing I tackled.  It was all medium colored wood. It was my husband's when he was a kid.  Tarnished brass drawer pulls and lots of scratches and nicks.  I HATED it. Here it is now...

 I wish I had a better camera.  Or knew how to use the one I have.  What I used:

1 can of Killz spray primer

Rust-Oleum High Performance Protective Enamel in Gloss Black

Glass "crystal" drawer pulls from Lowe's

Smooth surface roller

I used a roller for all of the black paint.  Even the nooks and crannies.  I didn't want brush marks.  Two coats and BAM!  Fabulous dresser.

Next up: The end tables.  They were decent Mid Century Modern end tables (the labels on the back said 1963) But the color was like nasty brown and they didn't match anything else.  Well, really, nothing I have matches anything else, hence painting it all the same color.  We did the same primer/gloss black with them.

If you have any questions about refinishing your own stuff, ask away!  I've been studying up and can probably help. 

Thanks for reading!

 

Read More

I'm wheelin' and dealin'

I'm wheelin' and dealin'

Let me get this straight.  You have a 7 year old microwave (and because it's Craigslist I'm going to guess it's more like 10 years old), you are obviously wanting to get rid of it, your listing is over a week old,  I'm offering you $10 less than your asking price, and you STILL want to hang on to it?  Really? 

Does something is your moral fiber dislike my low ball offer of $10 less?  Did you once accept an offer $10 lower on something and then ended up being imprisoned in Mexico shortly after and if you had only been able to pay them that extra $10 they wouldn't have let the donkey have their way with you?

Backtrack...

We are trying to fix up our house.  On a budget.  And when I say budget I'm not talking like "the less expensive furniture store" budget.  Or the "we can't afford leather this time" budget.  We are on the "Are the pee stains better or worse on this used couch than on the one we already have" budget.

I have become totally and completely obsessed with Craigslist.  I would prefer to be out garage sale-ing every Saturday when the rooster crows, but apparently most garage sale havers aren't really up to the whole winter sale thing.  Lame.  Oh, and speaking of roosters....how about this little gem I found...

Roosters
Rooster Plates $50
Rack: 7" x 2" x 40 1/2" high;
largest plate: 14 1/2" diameter.

Hen Basket $35
Metal.
12" x 6 3/4" x 7 1/4" high

Rooster Kitchenware Cruet $35
Four piece set.
Includes tray.
Porcelain.
9 1/2" x 3 1/2" x 7 1/2" high.

Rooster Wall Clock $35
Wood.
Uses 1 AA battery (not included).
13 1/4" diameter.

• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

WHY YES!!!! I would LOVE to hand over 50 freaking dollars for your ROOSTER PLATES!!!  And I see you are asking $35 for your kitchen accessory which appears to be a cyborg rooster of some sort.  I couldn't possibly let your part with it for so little.  Would you take $115?  

Couldn't you at least provide a damn battery for the poultry clock you are charging $35 for?  Please?


All day I'm sorting through this kind of nonsense and calling every hoarder in St. Louis trying to make our house look as amazing as I imagine it on my Pinterest board.  It is pretty pathetic. 

My problem is this.  I am afraid if I look away for just one tiny second, someone will post the deal of the century and I will miss it.  Like if I turn my head to take care of another "mommy-is-there-still-poop-on-my-butt" situation someone else will swoop in and snatch up my long awaited vintage picture frame lot.  You know.  The one they will pay YOU to take away from them?  That one.

I think my husband is getting a little annoyed.  Ok, I KNOW he's getting annoyed.  We are still virtually living out of boxes after being in the house for over 3 weeks, and I'm home all day talking trash to people on the phone about how there were 3 other over the range microwaves for half the price of what they were asking, but I was wiping a 4 year old's ass and I MISSED THEM!!!


Here's another fun listing:
Bedroom
I'm selling my queen bed and mattress for $200 or best offer serious buyers only the mattress rests on the rails so no need for a box its comfortable and has barely used.

• Location: st louis
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Don't tell me.  Your mom found out you were holding young girls hostage in your basement.  She said you either had to turn yourself in or get a job.  But before you can get a job you need to get a new wardrobe....for $200.  Can I give you some sales advice?  Try making your bed look a little less "kidnappy" before posting pics online. K?

I have found a few really great things.  Some things that I wouldn't have been able to find anywhere else.  The sellers were reasonable people. After I went to see the items and pointed out every single thing wrong with them and listed off the many ways I would have to work on them once I got them home, they normally met me on the prices. 

I mean who can say no to a mom dragging 3 kids to your house to look at a 30 year old chair saying things like "It's JUST what I have been looking for!  I'm so lucky to have stumbled across your ad!  I'm sure little Jonathan (4) will love steam cleaning it for me.  He only burned himself on the forearms last time.  But that's how they learn. Right?  Oh, crap.  I left the baby in the car.  I forgot.  You said $40 right?  No?  Oh shoot....well.  Oh, you'll take $40?  Thank you!!!  You totally made my day."

Works every time.  Unless you are a douche bag..  Like this guy:

Kevin harvick bud neon - $250 (St. Louis)

This a brand new neon. NO haggling

• Location: St. Louis
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

KEVIN HARVICK IS WORTH EVERY PENNY DAMMIT!!!!!

He might actually be worth all $250.  I'm just pissed.  I need some artificial sweetener and caffeine.  Off  to NOT buy more things!

Read More